Sunday, December 12, 2010

7 Ways You Can Tell You're Living In Los Angeles At Christmas.

1.) You're still sweaty after trading your Parka for a hoody and only need to wear it when the sun goes down and there are no Santa Ana winds blowing.

2.) You wake up, look out the window every morning and see a massive sign advertising, "Holly" and "Wood" overlooking the city. Marketing knows no shame.

3.) The bad area of town isn't just where there's nothing but strip malls and low rent housing but where white people never return from and this includes Santa Claus. Sorry Du Shawn, Santa refuses to come to Compton.

4.) Fat retarded assholes who are busy Christmas shopping and are driving Jaguars hit cars in parking lots when backing out of their space and blame the parked car.

5.) On shopping for a present for yourself, you experience shear panic when you realize you may be trapped in the wetsuit you are trying on and then almost pass out in the change room because it's 23 degrees.

6.) Your Christmas booze bill no longer exceeds your costs for food, presents and travel.

7.) You can buy liquor, groceries and guns in the same store from a guy in a Santa hat.

No comments:

Post a Comment