Saturday, December 4, 2010

Crenshaw Bloods, LADWP and Time/Warner.

Well, by the mere fact that I am here to write this you probably have ascertained that I survived my second trip back to Blood controlled, Crenshaw. The second run out to the hood wasn't nearly as bad as the first as I knew exactly where I was going and I had my duck below dash level skills well polished.

I entered Baldwin Hills Mall through Macy's. How could Macy's do me wrong? The security guard at the base of the escalator noticed me right away and acknowledged my white presence with a, "Hey, how you doing?" I guess white dudes just don't make it this south east and they bare acknowledgment. Up that escalator as fast as possible without crowding anyone and with a whole lot of staring at my feet. As I made my way through Macy's I actually made my way through the racks of clothing like a total pussy. No main thoroughfares for my honkey ass. Here I am exiting Macy's looking at a relatively empty office and thinking it's my destination, SoCalGas. That's when I ran into a long line stretching out of the actual office I was heading to.

So it's me looking like a small piece of eggshell in a chocolate cake staring at the ground and making way for anyone and everyone who is leaving the SoCalGas office through the double door which has one of its doors locked. I look up for just long enough to notice that you can't see any of the tellers through open air. They all stand behind two inch bullet proof glass. Great. At least the tellers won't be able to shoot me.

Please. Please let me get the whitest Latina. Maybe she'll take pity on my cracker ass. Nope. No dice. I get the hefty sister with a bad attitude. I walk up to the window to meet Mrs. T, Mr.T's less friendly sister.

"Hello. I was told to come here with two pieces of photo ID because I lack a SSN. I understand there's a deposit." I say.

"Hmm, hmm." says Latisha.

I slip my driver's ID and passport through the small slot at the bottom of the bullet proof window. She looks at my passport with a "oh hell no" look on her face, opens it up and then realizes it's Canadian. Instant attitude change. This is not the peckerwood that oppressed her people and made them pick cotton. We did not steal her people from their homeland and enslave them. My people did not sell them as assets or otherwise.

"No problem, we'll get you set up and put the deposit on your first bill. It'll be easier to pay that way."

On leaving Crenshaw I regret not bringing a Canadian flag to fly from my antenna.

On a side note:

To set up our electricity after the SoCalGas account was as easy as anything. ID. Deposit. Done.

To set up our Time/Warner Account was even better. ID. "I'll take a shitload of channels please, Ma'am." Digital phone line with unlimited free calling nationwide and to Canada and Mexico, Internet and HDTV with a HD DVR, the Sports Package plus full HBO and Showcase all for $130/month. That's $30 less than in Canada and for a shizznit load more.

They show up on Monday to install all that is needed to access the craziness of over four hundred channels.

No comments:

Post a Comment