Sunday, November 28, 2010

Haircuts, Sunglasses, Burgers and Freaks.

I took my ass down to Melrose Blvd. today to get a haircut before I start work tomorrow. I was going to a specific place where some tattooed freak cuts your hair but then I got sidetracked to a place that looked good right across the street.

Carlos, my hair stylist did a great job and was hilarious when he would respond to my stories with an extra flamboyant and campy,”Oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd. I can’t imagine!” What can't you imagine Carlos? Paying more than a $20 for a really good haircut?  Awesome cut. Entertaining conversation and like the budgie said,” cheeap!”

Then on to find sunglasses.

Chilli Beans on Melrose provided a great selection of big thick framed goggle like sunglasses. I found the ones I wanted and went to buy them. What’s that? 50% off. Double win mark it two-nil for Kwagmire, Dude. $75 sunglasses marked down $25 and then 50% off on the Black Friday special! 

On to find food.

I drove by the 50’s styled diner, Johnny Rockets and thought I’d go in to find out what it was all about. When I opened the menu I was shocked at how many burger options they gave. I guess hamburgers are an American institution but holy shit people, 30 different combinations? Never mind the fact you could add cheese, bacon or another patty to any burger. I sat down and ordered some food and after the first couple of bites the most horrific drag queen walked in. She looked like a mix between Bugs Bunny because of her massive front chompers (the only two in the mouth that I could see) and the ever-emaciated Iggy Pop. Those big ass chicklets front and center just stuck out ready to open any bottle or can that needs it. Oh oh, said crazy transvestite is walking over here dragging her floppy high heels. Oh thank god, she walked out the door. I’m a whatever turns your crank kinda guy but for some reason when crazy transvestites see me they are drawn in like a moth to a light. Maybe it’s my cologne, Gender Konfusion by Calvin Klein.

I then drove up to check out Hollywood Blvd again as last time was super entertaining. They were filming and had several blocks cordoned off so no freak show today. Too bad.

Woodsy arrives tonight at 6:44 to LAX so I’m picking his chump ass up and we’re heading out to dinner. He’s stoked I’m down here and so am I. We’re gonna tear this bastard up. Can’t wait to hang with him and Pete as it’ll be like old times only they won’t be sending me for coffee.

“Runner to Avid A. Runner to Avid A”

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