I pretty much didn't sleep the night before the departure. Too much coffee, a two year old that was up a couple of times and pant-shitting anticipation of the border interview and long drive and apartment search. Nonetheless, a four AM wake up, a quick coffee and shower got me to the border at 5:15am.
I was entirely too delirious to be worried and simply handed over my H1B petition and passport and took a completely no bullshit approach with the border guards. Training all summer with Woodsy going golfing south of the border taught me one thing. Tell the truth and give yes and no answers. Fifteen minutes later I was through with my passport/I94 stamped and was thoroughly impressed with the class and professionalism of the Department of Homeland Security, something I never thought I would be saying. I mean, I really thought W. was a dick and that there was no hope for this country and instead they once again come up big (I hope the CIA is reading this).
I filled up the tank in Blaine as I stood freezing my Canadian ass off in the -09 temperature and wind. I5 south to Seattle where the present economic situation revealed itself. Plow your damn roads Seattle! The I5 was a damn skating rink as you headed down the hill into the city of Seattle and then once again as you bypassed it and climbed the opposing hill.
Tacoma was my first stop for breakfast and thank god their Dept. of Highways had the budget to plow. Take note Seattle. The restrooms in the restaurant I ate in looked like some sort of epicenter for a thermonuclear assplosion. Not nice. Not nice. My first meal in a long time in America and it was much too much too large. I really didn't need the four pieces of toast, two eggs and two medium sized potatoes for $4.95. America, your ass is 38 axe handles (official Smokey Wagner measurement) across because your portions are too large.
I stopped in Portland for lunch and I have to say, this may be the greatest American city. There was a micro-brewery everywhere I looked. I made a pilgrimage to Rogue Brewing's Tap house and was not disappointed. In a word, mind-blowing. I only wished my friends Des and Jason were with me and that I had a few days to sample every delicious beer on their menu. There were so many that aren't available in Canada and after imbibing the smallest glass they offered I departed but not before buying some swag. Oh, by the way the food was awesome and ultra-healthy. I had an amazing black bean, avacado and corn salad served atop quinoa and they brought me three kinds of hot sauce to spice it up. Portland, I frickin' love you.
Cover the ears of the young ones if you are reading this aloud, the weather turned absolute shit-ass when I left. White out conditions for at least 15-20 km down the road. I received some serious grace though as nothing stuck to the road nor the wipers. Kiss my ass Old Man Winter. Kiss it long and kiss it hard.
I really considered stopping and holding up in some place and doing the trip over three days at this point but then the 16 year old in me said to go for it. I figured in the worst scenario I would stay in Weed and buy one of those, "I'm High On Weed (CA)" shirts and send it back to my ex-coworker Nick who said he would wear it to work. If this trip taught me anything it's to keep positive and plow on because when I realized that I could pull off anywhere I kept going and told myself that I would pull over if it got hairy. Four hours later I was pulling into Redding, CA having put 1100 km on the new Camry.
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